What Are Relationships?
Relationships all begin for the same basic reason. We have someone who we find agreeable enough that we find ourselves in accord with them on a number of things, and so we think to ourselves, “I like this person, I would like to sign up to spend more time with them.” Sociologically speaking a relationship is simply a social construct in which two people are continuing to interact over a prolonged period of time. In other words, they continue to sign up to interact over time, and their mutual agreement to do so forms the basis of their relationship, and their series of interactions, forms their relationship itself. Likewise relationships all end for the same basic reason. People think to themselves “This isn’t’ what I signed up for, I do not agree to this.” It may not be those exact words verbatim, but it will be some version of that, such as “I am not ok with this”, or “this doesn’t work for me”, or “I do not like this or want this anymore”, or “I did not know it was going to end up being like this, this isn’t what I wanted.” But whatever the cause they either do not find the person/situation/relationship agreeable anymore, and/or did not know that it was going to be like this and that this is what they had inadvertently agreed to when they signed up for their relationship (which they would not have agreed to if they had known and wish they had known sooner). So they exit their arrangement. That is what a relationship is. It is a social agreement, a verbal contract. Something that you commit to and sign up for, with some sort of mutual understanding between the two of you that you are going to maintain this arrangement and things are going to be a certain way between you two. However as the relationship ages and undergoes different situations and circumstances, different things come into play. The relationship may have started out with a certain basic agreement, but that basic agreement will not have taken into consideration everything that could possibly come into play over the course of the time you are going to be together. These things cause complications, because the partners never discussed them and what the agreement is supposed to be about them, and they may feel different ways about them.(more…)
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