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How To Have Amazing Sex By Combining Seduction And Sexual Escalation With Communication And Consent

Now I want to talk about a very important topic. How To Have Amazing Sex By Combining Seduction & Sexual Escalation With Communication and Consent!  Which means how to escalate sexually into foreplay and sex with someone while also gaining their consent along the way so that you are only doing things that they want you to do with them (and in many cases making them want you to do the things you want to do to them through a seductive process). And communicating about them definitively to make sure that the sexual experience you are having with them is mutually agreed upon and pleasurable for you both.  This will ensure you can have a good sexual experience together and that they will want to come back for more, rather than feel any kind of regret afterwards.

This is an issue not just with men having sex with women, but women having sex with men.  And even when the person is very interested in the other sexually, the experience can be ruined by having someone do something that they do not like, and does not feel good, without communicating about it first and gaining consent.

In fact I myself had two distinct experiences with this with two different extremely hot girls.  These were girls that I had wanted to have sex with and was pursuing for quite some time.  One was a model and the other a stripper, so let me assure you there was no shortage of attraction or interest on my part.  However when I finally got sexual with them and we started having intercourse, the two women became dominant in ways that I was not comfortable with, without asking me if I enjoyed female on male dominance.  And even though I showed my discomfort, they continued and started doing things that were very unpleasant to me and ruined the sexual experience for me.  And even when I communicated with them that I did not enjoy those things and wanted to do something different, it seemed that they were so used to having their way and not communicating about sex or doing things in a way their partner would like that they simply could not break their routine, and continued in spite of my contrary requests.  So I had to stop having sex with them, which was unfortunate, since I had really wanted to.

So you can see how even in spite of having an intense attraction and interest in someone, even if you are a man having sex with a woman, lack of consent and communication, so no matter who you are out there, or how hot you think you are, do not ever think that you are immune to the need for sexual communication and consent or you can end up in some very uncomfortable, awkward, and embarrassing situations – having someone stop sex and push you away and reject you because you are causing them an unpleasant sexual experience, or at the very least simply never call you again.  This is something that happens all too often, because most people are not communicating about sex and thus having bad sex.  Bad sex is a product of non-communication, and since most people are under the mistaken impression that communicating about sex is awkward and uncomfortable, they don’t do it, and instead their sex becomes awkward and uncomfortable for one or both partners, most often the one they are having sex with.  And this is what leads to your partners having regrets about having sex with you and not calling you ever again.  So why not just have better sex by communicating and gaining consent?

In fact you will find that there is nothing more comfortable or natural than communicating about sex.  It makes everything so much easier.  And it does not make you seem awkward at all, in fact it makes you seem confident and in control, which is what people want in a sex partner.

The Formula: Seduction & Sexual Escalation + Communication & Consent = Amazing Sex!

Leading With Choice

While it is sometimes important to be very alpha, dominant, and take charge and seductively lead things to sex, it is also important that you are not doing so to the point where sex is not definitively consensual and that they are not a mutual part of the process of initiating and engaging in the sexual activities. Sex is like a dance, both parties need to move to the music and respond positively to each others moves to create synergy and gracefulness between both of you. Though of course many people, women especially, are very passive during this process, so it is important to be reading their body language to see if they want what you are doing to be happening, and to go slowly enough that they could stop you if wanted, and of course to check in and ask permission for his or them consent at pivotal moments when you are about to do the “next big thing” in the sexual play and escalation.

Of course you do not want the asking of consent to be like you are trying to negotiate a business contract with his or them, and you also do not want to make it seem like you are unsure of yourself in what you are doing because that would of course be a mood spoiler.  I mean most people, even after being turned on and ready for sex, would be turned off if you were to suddenly stop and say something like “now wait a minute, am I to understand that I have your permission to fuck you right now?”, or “so now we have gotten this far, so do you give me full legal consent to go all the way with you tonight?”.  Obviously you can see how certain ways of wording and saying things is not only not sexy, but is a total mood destroyer that would probably end the sexual interaction right then and there even if they had wanted to have sex with you.

So in order to make sure you are on the same page about your sexual interaction it needs to be a smooth, natural, and part of the sexual process.  You should say it in a congruent and well calibrated way to gauge the situation and what you are doing; you should also be a bit persuasive so as to take some of the pressure off of them (as asking them to take responsibility for the decision to have sex with you is not exactly something anyone wants, especially when with most women.  They do however want to know that they have a choice, but not that the choice is entirely their responsibility).

How and When To Ask Questions

Make sure you are asking without putting any pressure on them, and with a certain smooth nonchalance. Rather than seeming like you are trying to con them, like you are trying to get something from them or get them to do something that they shouldn’t want you to do (ie “so are you going to give me a blowjob now?” – is no good).  So obviously there are right and wrong ways to ask for permission and consent to engage in sexual play.   And if you can ask for consent in the right ways during the important moments of sexual escalation however, not only will the process not seem forced or like it is not being done at the right time, etc. but it will be much more comfortable and thus much more enjoyable for them, and you are likely to get further with them due to that.

With minor initial sexual moves such as a kiss or minor physical escalation, you should expect the person to stop you if they do not want you to do what you are doing.  But when things escalate beyond that into the actual sexual play, that is when it is important to make sure that they are in agreement with you on what is happening, assuming that you are the one initiating most of the sexual interactions.  If they are initiating things with you then of course you do not need to ask for consent but need to give consent instead.

When you are with a guy or girl who is hard to read and you are not sure their “buying temperature” is high even though it should be, you should just ask flat out, “can I _______”, but if it seems like that would just make you seem unsure of what you were doing, you can just ask “would you like me to ________” or “do you want me to _______” or “would you like to have me ________”.  This sounds more like you are asking them if they would like you to do something for them sake that they would enjoy, rather than asking them to do something that you want to do for your own sake.  Example: “Would you like me to kiss your neck?”  This example is a minor move that most people won’t object to, which you often won’t have to ask for consent to.  But instead you could say something like “do you like having your neck kissed?” while making out with someone, and it is assumed that you are asking in order to know if you should do it or not.  This is a way you could ask for them consent with a minor move, however you should not assume that if you ask a girl if she likes getting eaten out, that that is an automatic go ahead for you to just go and do that. You can learn more about more specific techniques in my Ultimate God/Goddess training program where you will learn to get the sex life of your dreams!

Making Bigger Moves

You can also give them independent options too, such as “would you like to ________”, example “would you like to take our shoes off and get more comfortable?” or “would you like to make out?” for early on in the interaction, or “would you like to do a 69” or “would you like to switch positions” for later in the interaction.

However, as you escalate past the point of making out (or neck kissing), there are ways of generalizing things so that you are not asking permission for every single little thing you do, as that would be annoying and a buzz kill, as well as make you seem unsure of yourself in what you are doing, or that the situation may possibly not be right.  You want things to seem smooth and natural in order for sex to be enjoyable.  So you can ask something like “would you like me to kiss/caress your body?” or “would you like to HAVE ME kiss/caress your body”.  Notice the first example is slightly shorter and may sound more natural to you, while the second one has a couple more words but makes it sound more definitively like you are doing it for them.  Notice how the slight difference in wording changes the meaning.

If she/he say they want you to do this, then taking their clothes off will become part of the process which will be partially assumed, however in order to check in with them and make sure they are ok with their clothes coming off, you can use the words “why don’t you”, which literally means that you are asking them for a reason why they won’t/wouldn’t do something.  So as you start caressing/kissing their body saying “why don’t you take your shirt off” means literally that you are asking them if there is any reason why they aren’t doing so, however it is also interpreted like a request.  So it is basically a request with the question of if they see any reason not to go along with it.  And you are also asking them to be the one to take responsibility for doing it, rather than doing it for them.  This way if they don’t want to do it they won’t, because they have both the verbal and physical chance to decline, however the question of them doing so is something that seems fairly smooth and natural.

Communicating Likes & Dislikes

Once you have gotten permission to do something general, such as kiss/caress their body, which could include a lot of sexual play, it is important to inform them that they need to tell you what they like and don’t like, and does or doesn’t want you to do.  This will make them feel not only safe and in control of the process of what you are doing so that you won’t do anything they don’t want you to, but that they are also going to be assured of their pleasure, and in control of the way they are pleasured, which makes the idea of sexual play with you seem not only comfortable but fun and enjoyable too.

And then as you continue to explore their body if they go a moment of two without giving you any indicators of enjoyment with what you are doing, simply ask periodically “you like that?” and they will let you know (and usually it will be positive, as long as you are reading their body language as well).  And if they are not guiding you or giving you minimal feedback just simply be sure to remind them a little later on that they need to inform you of what they like and guide you through the process so that you can pleasure them the ways they like.  Just say “remember I need you to help guide me and let me know the ways you like to be pleasured babe.”  In my experience women especially really like this and find it not only assuring of the fact that this is about their comfort and enjoyment, but it really gets them involved in the process.

Mutual Involvement & Getting Them Engaged

It is perhaps most important to try to get them engaged mutually in the process and take charge in whatever ways they can as an active rather than passive participant.  It starts by asking them what they like and want you to do.   If they are insecure about doing this as many people are then of course asking things like “would you like me to kiss your body” or “would you like me to eat you out/ suck your cock” are great substitutes, and continuing to prompt them to guide you through the process is a great idea by saying “what else would you like me to do” or “what do you want me to do next/now?”.  Additionally what you can also do is ask them to put your hands where they want them, or to guide your hands or head where  they want them to go.   And then once you have gotten the ball rolling you can say things like “how can I make this feel even better for you?”  or “how can we take this to the next level?”.  And even if they have been reluctant to take control before, once the ball is rolling you can even ask them what they want to do with you, which after opening up a little about their wants and having you fulfill them, they may be more apt to take advantage of the opportunity to be more in control of the process and assume an active role in it.

Also it is important to use the “we” frame so it is made known that this is a shared experience you two are engaging in together, rather than you simply doing things totem.  So instead of always saying “can I do ________” say “Why don’t we take off our the rest of our clothes/our underwear/our socks”, or “why don’t we get more comfortable” or “why don’t we go into the bedroom” or “why don’t we get under the covers” or “why don’t we switch places” or “why don’t we try doing _______” or “why don’t we try doing a 69”.  However if this method seems like it would be too pressuring for some people, you can give them the option in a less persuasive and leading manner, by simply saying “we can do _______ if you’d like” or “you know we can try ________ if you want to”.  Such as “We can go into the bedroom if you want” or “we can try touching each other more if you like” or “You know we can get under the covers if you want to get more comfortable.” Or “We could try a 69 now if you want.”  This makes it seem totally open and may be more comfortable for some women who are a little more insecure about the process.

As a women you can ask for thing to be done for you, like “I would love it if you would______” or It feels really good when you______, I’d like you to ________ ” or “_________turns me on”. This would look like “It feels really good when you kiss my neck, I’d like you to go lower”, “sucking my nipples gently/hard turns me on” or “I would love it if you would eat my pussy”. You can also give shorter verbal cues such as “yes”, “more”, “slower/faster”, “touch me here instead” or “touch me like this” and physically show them the way you want to be touched/caressed.

It is also important to engage them in the process physically as well, if they are not taking the initiative to do so on their own, as many people will not (especially women both due to their programming into a passive gender role, as well as their insecurities).  So give them things to do in the sexual play process, however make them things they could opt out of doing as well.  For example, say things like “why don’t you take off my shirt.”  And “why don’t you put your hands on/around me” and “why don’t you kiss my neck/chest”, or “why don’t you put your hand around my penis or on my vagina.”  “Why don’t you sit on my face.” Etc. This way they won’t feel insecure or “slutty” about doing so because they know it is something you want and have given them permission to do, and you have also given them the opportunity to opt out of doing so if they have any objections and can voice them, because technically you are asking them if there are any reasons why they aren’t doing so when you say “why don’t you ________”.

If you want it to seem like the pressure is off totally and you are not trying to be persuasive, just say “you can” or especially “you can _______ if you like” instead of “why don’t you”.  So “you can touch me more if you like you know” or “you can explore my body more if you like”.  Or if you are a man doing this with a woman, for example you could say something like “you know you can touch my penis too if you like”, or “you know you can put my penis in your mouth too you don’t have to be shy”.  This will usually make any uncomfortable or insecure woman feel like it is ok for them to decide to do something without you thinking she is slutty, as you are giving them permission to do so (and bringing the subject up first, rather than them taking the initiative, which is what makes most women feel like would be slutty of them), in addition to the fact that they also have the choice of not doing it too, which is also important for them in such a situation.

As a woman you can say “you can touch my breasts if you like”, “you know you can play with my clit now” or “if you like you can start kissing your way to my pussy, I love that”. Putting a praise in with your request helps empower a man, by expressing what you want and also letting him know how he is doing a good job and making you feel wonderful. This then lets them know how they are specifically turning you on and directs them toward where you’d like to go next. You can also ask “Is this turning you on? Playing with my pussy feels great, do you want to kiss it? or “I want your cock in me, please put it inside of me”. In my experience it feels great to ask these things with a partner, it makes the moment sexier and helps get your partner become increasingly aroused therefore more sexually invested in you, elevating the likelihood of you both wanting to reconnect in the future.

Initiating Sex

Simply continue using these as you make the larger moves with oral sex and intercourse.  Saying things like “would you like me to go down on you?” and then “How many orgasms do you think you can handle?” and in order to make oral sex mutual: “Why don’t you sit on my face and then suck my cock too?” (or vice versa).  And then with intercourse you can simply say: “Do you want to feel me inside of you yet?” if you are a man, or “Do you want to be inside me now?”  if you are a woman.  This way of phrasing the question of intercourse makes your sexual intentions known, and lets them know that you want to have sex with them and that she is not going to be the one taking full responsibility for making that happen, but that it is already assumed and you will make that move whenever they are ready and gives you the go ahead.

For people who are more insecure or uncomfortable, oftentimes giving them more power and authority makes them much more comfortable, and will even prompt them to take more initiative.  This can be done by asking “what do you want me to do for you?” or “what do you want to do?” or “why don’t you get on top of me” Works especially well, as well as “why don’t you do whatever you’d like with me now.”

And if someone ever says no you can always ask again later, and say it in this way “Do you want to ________now” or “do you want me to __________yet?”.  Make sure you are making it about their wants not yours.  Don’t say “can I do this yet”, but “do you want _________ yet?”.  And you can continue asking periodically if they says no again.

And of course when having sex make sure that you ask if they are clean and on birth control or have a condom etc.  And if you do not know them very well you should always use a condom.  To make this easy and natural you can simply say something like “Are you clean and on birth control?”  Or “should we use a condom?”.

Be sure to always fractionate the sexual escalation/play (stop and take a break) so that they have a chance to step back and be sure of what they are doing and doesn’t feel like you are too eager/pushy and escalating too quickly, or in other words “taking things too fast” as many women will often stop and say “this is happening too fast”.  This is known as the dreaded “last minute resistance” which can be avoided simply by simply taking breaks in the sexual escalation which will make you not seem too eager or pushy, and like things aren’t moving so fast, and will ensure that they are comfortable and will be happening on their terms as well, which makes it consensual and enjoyable for them. This is for seducing a man as well, he wants to feel as though you want to have sex with him..  Simply taking a breather and laying there together cuddling or talking for a few moments, or going back to talking and hanging out, or whatever else you were doing together is all you need to do to accomplish this.  This will not only give them the chance to feel comfortable, but will make them want you more and take more initiative themselves in resuming the sexual play, so things are more mutual.

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