WARNING! – These Types Of People Are Incapable Of Healthy Relationships (AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!)
The Types Of People Who Are
Incapable Of A Healthy Relationships:
The “Dark Triad” Person
Most people out there have been in unhealthy relationships before. And oftentimes you found yourselves caught in these situations because your partner made you believe that they really cared about you, wanted to have a healthy relationship with you and were capable of one, and were willing to do what it took to make the relationship work, and that you could trust them in all of that. But no matter how much they made you believe these things, the relationship never ended up being healthy.
So why is it that some people just don’t seem to be capable of having a healthy relationship?
The cold hard dark truth is that some types of people who are not only incapable of love, but are incapable of having a healthy relationship of any kind at all. The types of people who aren’t even capable of empathy, caring and connections, or even treating you as an equal, with the respect, decency, and human rights that you deserve. The types of people who simply will never be good to you, even though they may swear that they are going to be.
But this is really just part of their using and exploiting you, and so they make you believe that they care for you and that you two have a connection can expect to have a great relationship with them. They may even manipulate you into falling in love with them and believing that they love you. But in the end they will only abuse you and hurt you, and even destroy you, because it has actually been part of a ploy, and you have really just been a source of some sort of social utilities that they needed. And once they have bled you dry of whatever resources they wanted from you, they will move on to the next victim, oftentimes leaving you devastated in the process, and not caring at all about the harmful and destructive impact they have had on you.
Reading this, you may have a past relationship or two (hopefully not more) come to mind in which your partner was like this. You probably have a number of friends and peers who you have also seen suffer in these ways, and maybe people like you even saw it for what it was and tried to warn them, but they never listened because they were too caught up in the web of deceit that their partner had spun around them just like a black widow spider. And because they are masters of the art of emotional manipulation, deception, and game playing, in which they use the concept and feelings of love to gain control over you, it is oftentimes very hard to detect when you are in one of these situations until it is too late and they have just about destroyed you.
So how can we know when we are dating one of these types? How can we protect ourselves from them?
Firstly, by knowing who these people are exactly, and what their psychological conditions and symptoms are.
You see these people actually have a name in Psychology, they are called The “Dark Triads“. Sounds scary right? Yes, because it is.
They are called the Dark Triads because they consist of the three worst, most negative, and destructive personality types/mental conditions a human being can have. And I am going to be sharing with you exactly what the term Dark Traid means and the 3 conditions it consists of in a moment.
Then, second & more importantly we need to understand what the behaviors of the dark triad people, so that we can know exactly what to watch out for so that we can be able to detect when we are getting caught up in the web of the dark triad person.
But reader beware, we are about to delve deeply into some of the darkest areas of human psychology, that may be very scary for you to read about, especially having probably delt with these types of people before. So this will not be comfortable. But it is necessary because it is the only way you can safeguard yourself against being taken advantage of, used, abused, hurt, and even destroyed in any number of ways.
The Dark Triad
Narcissism – Pathological Self Absorption. Extreme egotism. Selfishness and self centeredness. Self love and delusions of grandeur at the expense of others and the inability to see others as equals or respect them, which leads to treating them poorly. Narcissists are neurotic egomaniacs who are both insecure and arrogant (an inferiority complex). They are addicted to validation and must constantly seek it in order to feel the way they want to about themselves. Relationships are codependent and based upon using others for validation and other resources. They oftentimes seek leadership positions and power over others, and have little scruples about how they get it.
Anti-Social Behavior (Sociopathy or Psychopathy) – People who have an almost complete inability to empathize with the feelings of others, or to recognize that other people have feelings at all and are sentient beings that feel pain. So sociopaths and psychopaths tend to be very hurtful towards other people with no regards to their feelings, or even recognition that they have feelings are and being hurt. The difference is that sociopaths are non-violent and psychopaths are violent. Sociopaths are more common in business situations and will do things such as throwing coworkers under the bus to get ahead, or doing things that are harmful or destructive for profits. Whereas psychopaths will be more physically aggressive and violent and enjoy physically dominating or hurting others, and sometimes even killing them. Psychopaths are more common in the military, sports, the police, and other occupations that involve physical aggression. And as we all know murderers are of course psychopaths as well, and you never know what someone who has ASPD is capable of.
Machiavellianism – This word is basically a more socio-political word for manipulation. Machiavellian behavior is manipulating ones social and political environment strategically for ones own dominance and advancement. In the sociopolitical world it is most common in people who will often be playing all sides of a situation and being deceptive to others in order to get ahead. In business and military when taken to its extreme it is the type of ideology shared by those who are the “hostile takeover” types. Machiavellian behaviors can be anything from one woman turning a wife and husband against one another in order to take revenge on the wife and steal the husband, to the Prime Minister who decides to turn on a country that was once their ally and invade them.
So now that you understand what the 3 aspects of the Dark Triad are, it is time for you to learn everything you need to know about the Dark Triad peoples behaviors, that make them so seductive, manipulative, dark and destructive, so that you can safeguard yourself against them.
Dark Triad Behaviors
They are oftentimes very beautiful and present very well and have a lot of pride, but not in a healthy way. They are overly focused on their self image and their ego, and are also very showy, boastful, pretentious and pompous. They think of themselves as superior or super human, like a king/queen or a God, and they are not shy about showing it, but rather the opposite. While most people do not consider such arrogant qualities good ones and if told they were behaving as such they would be embarrassed about it, the narcissist is even proud of their narcissistic tendencies and has no problem with admitting that they are narcissistic, since they see it as a valid reality for their superior status.
Their empathy center in their brain is not active, so they are incapable of experiencing empathy except perhaps for their parents. They simply do not understand the feelings of others, or that others even have feelings. The emotional reality of others simply does not register in their brain, and thus they are not only incapable of making emotional connections with others, but are incapable of acting with consideration and regard to others feelings, and will feel nothing when they do something to hurt others, and may not even understand why they are acting hurt.
They only respect themselves and have no respect for others. They say that they want to be respected but will disrespect you and undermine your self esteem in seeking to inflate their ego. They demand more respect than they give. They feed off of validation from others but not only do not offer any but may also feed off of invalidating others and dis-empowering them.
They demand validation and will feed on your attention leaving you drained emotionally and physically. They do not, however, reciprocate on this. They ask for more than they give, especially when it comes to respect, because they have narcissistic double standards.
They act selfishly with only their self interest in mind in all situations. In a relationship they may act as though they care about someone and want to do what is in their best interest but they will end up doing things at the others expense and which serve their self interest alone. They will act as though they believe in egalitarianism but in truth they consider themselves superior and others inferior, and their mission is to extract resources from others. They may even act like they are going to be doing things for others and giving things to them to get them to do/give things to them, and then will only take and never give. However the selfish person hates having to face their selfishness and if it is ever brought to their attention it will make them feel weak and they will get extremely defensive and even lash out and act like they are being victimized.
They oftentimes have had a bad childhood, one in which they were emotionally neglected, or abused, or were just raised in a way that caused developmental difficulties because they did not get the love, care and nurturing from their parents that they needed as children. This led to them not being able to mature emotionally, to take responsibility, or to be able to deal with frustrations and other negative emotions associated with not getting their way, failure, loss, rejection, etc. Their lack of maturity and ability to be responsible for themselves causes them to act childish and selfish towards others by trying to get others to take responsibility for things that they should be responsible for. And as adults, or once their parents expect them to be independent (at whatever age), they will seek out selfless people who they can latch on to and extract value and resources from instead of their parents.
They are oftentimes very charming and charismatic, and very successful as well, because of the fact that they have an exaggerated sense of self worth and confidence, and also have no empathy and thus they do not get nervous in situations where most people would, and instead act with more confidence than anyone else would in these situations. And they are also very skilled manipulators.
They are very manipulative game players who are not only very charming and charismatic but also seductive and persuasive and are able to make others think what they want them to think. They use manipulation and game playing for their success in social and business situations. They make friends and even use seduction to create sexual relationships and will make these people think that they care about them just to use and exploit them, and have no qualms about throwing them under the bus later. They feel no empathy for people they hurt in order to achieve their own success, and consider it a necessary tactic that they may actually be proud of because they consider it intelligent and tactful. And as part of their manipulation, whenever others accuse them of being manipulative, or doing whatever it is they are doing in that situation, they will act like they are being victimized by them and that the person accusing them is the one being manipulative. Most relationships they have with people are just considered pawns to them in their games and strategies for their success. These are the types of people who will seduce someone and pretend to love them, then marry them and take over their company and assets and leave them with nothing.
They can not accept opposition, disagreement, or people not conforming to their will, or not getting their way. When persuasion and manipulation do not work to get others to conform to their will, they get frustrated and even enraged and will start lashing out at them and attempting to punish them or get revenge for their dissent.
They play the victim card and not take responsibility for their unhealthy or destructive behaviors. Instead of trying to evaluate their faults they will always have rational excuses for bad behaviors
Act misunderstood and blame others
Act like they are getting victimized even when they are victimizing others
They will want you to somehow take the blame for things that are clearly their fault and not yours
They will show psychopathic behaviors, invalidating you and twisting reality. They will not take ownership of their abusive behavior but use gaslighting to make you second guess yourself and your comprehension of reality and think that it is your response to their abuse that is toxic. They will accuse you of things that they provoked and then make it seem like your reactions are not sane and are the real problem.
They are pathological Liars – lying is instinctual. They are the “fake it till you make it” types who try to lie the reality they want into existence, and believe that if they believe in their lies hard enough, they can get others to believe in them, and then that will turn them into a reality. They will lie and show no signs of remorse when caught, and won’t usually ever admit to their lie, or if they do they will claim t have a valid explanation which somehow makes you the mistaken one for taking them the wrong way. This means that they may tell white lies very casually and naturally, or they may tell bigger lies and even act like they themselves believe them. They may also make promises that they often break, or often say one thing and do something different, or go back on their word often and does not honor their commitments, obligations, or plans and arrangements. Or they may simply just act in a manner that is untrustworthy and in-genuine in general, like they seem to say things that they do not really mean, and may seem to be putting on an act at times. Their reality is entirely made up of lies. Even their own identity is just a mask they are wearing. Being with them is like being in a theater that they spin for you with their tales and mind tricks such as gaslighting to make it seem like everything they say is true in spite of it being mostly the opposite, and making you doubt your own reality and actually believe them.
Provoke destructive behavior but pretend to be innocent. They act like they hate drama but cause it and feed off of it, and then blame others for it. They will do things to spark negative emotions in you such as inciting jealousy and competition between you and others by flirting with others in front of you or keeping in touch with a former lover, just to get you to show them how much you care and make them feel good.
In a romantic relationship they are not capable of real, true, healthy love, only torrid love affairs which may seem passionate but are very shallow and oftentimes are really just them using their partner. They have what is called “whirlwind romances”, which consist of worship, and then abandonment, which has three elements to it: Idealization, Devaluation, & Discarding, though these are not necessarily mutually exclusive. They will seem to fall in and out of love hard and fast, starting as soon as they see value in you, and ending when the value is no longer useful. They will Love Bomb, flatter you, and shower you with affection to get you engaged, giving overt demonstrations of attention, affection and admiration, and then withdrawing it at the first sign of trouble.
Now as you remember above, under the Anti-Social Behavior category, I listed both sociopathy and psychopathy. These two are both the same in that they are mental conditions characterized by anti-social behavior (destructive behavior towards others). However there is one key difference that distinguishes them from one another: The destructive behaviors of the sociopath is social. Those of the psychopath are physical. Psychopaths are actually violent. And when dealing with a psychopath you are in even greater danger of the person doing physical harm to you, even abducting you, torturing you, and potentially killing you, especially if you attempt to leave them. And when you are dealing with this type, the dark triad takes on a whole new dimension and becomes what is called the “Dark Quadrad”, with the addition of “Sadism”, which is when someone takes pleasure in inflicting pain upon others.
These cases are more rare, but they do exist, and because they are rare we oftentimes are vulnerable to them, thinking they could never happen to us. But I actually had a next door neighbor who ended up being a psychopath who was brought up on murder charges, and I being a social scientist was the only one who even noticed his anti-social behaviors. And the fact that no one else knew what to watch out for is what lead one person to become victimized by him and lose their life. So it is very important to safeguard yourself against these types as well. Which you can do by watching this video that I have made on how to tell if you are dating a psychopath.
So be safe out there when you are dating! Make sure you are practicing social intelligence and awareness and screening your partners carefully! While of course not falling into a fear based mentality and anti-social mode yourself. Just make sure you are watching the behaviors of your partners and guarding yourself against Dark Triad tendencies and people, and filtering out anyone who shows multiple red flags that they will not be healthy for you. Staying away from potentially unhealthy relationships with bad social influences is very important for your overall mental health. But on the other side of the coin, when you can actually find a partner who you can have a healthy relationship with and find real true love with, it is one of the most beautiful things you will ever experience, and can help you reach new heights in life you would have never reached before. And to learn about how to cultivate and develop a healthy, sustainable, successful partnership with your ideal mate that will be the good and fulfilling relationship you have always wanted, click this link here to sign up for my relationship development and management program. And make sure you share this article with your friends and family as well so that they can all stay safe too! And otherwise you can enjoy getting the love life of your dreams!
This article has been an excerpt from the True Life Relationships – Complete Social & Sexual Mastery System book, get your copy on amazon here!