What Is Sexual Freedom? What It Means To Be Sexually Free (& Why You Should Be)
Many people have probably heard the phrase “Sexual Freedom” before, and not exactly know what it means. And many people may think that they have sexual freedom when in actuality they do not. We live in a very sexually oppressive and controlling culture in which most people are actually not sexually free, as they do not feel free to make their own choices sexually due to various social pressures. And thus most people are not sexually healthy or happy, and will even take on the social narratives of their oppression to make excuses for why they are not doing what they really want to, or even deny that they want what they want, and say that they want what they are told to want by society, when in fact they do not. I recently put out a video on my philosophy of the value of sexual freedom that you may have seen. But in such a culture of sexual oppression in which people have been so brainwashed with the narratives of sexual oppression most people are complete strangers to the idea of sexual freedom, and probably have no idea what it is or means, and why it is something that everyone should have. So many people may be wondering, what is sexual freedom exactly? What does it mean to be sexually free, and how does it work? And why is it something that everyone including you should have and how would it benefit you?
Having sexual freedom means the freedom to make your own sexual choices, and not have them made for you by anyone else, or society in general. This means both having the freedom to choose to do what you want to do sexually, and not do what you do not want to do. This means not being forced into unwanted arranged marriage or relationships like used to occur in not to distant past, and still occurs in many cultures. But it means much more than that. It means having the freedom to choose your own sexual orientation and how you wish to operate sexually, or not. It means the freedom to have sex when you want to and with whom you want to, and to not have sex when and with people you do not want to. It means the freedom to commit to one or more sex partners of your choosing, or commit to no one and be promiscuous or celibate if and when you wish to. It means the freedom to discover and be yourself sexually in whatever gender you may choose, whether you are cisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, Transgender, pansexual, gender fluid, gender neutral or asexual. It means experiencing your own sexuality freely and authentically and being self actualized in that, and not fearing any sort of social reprise or sexual shame or oppression or violation because of it. And it means being able to express, share, explore, experiment with and experience your sexuality with any other consenting adults in any of the infinite ways you may choose to do so with each other, through the wide variety of sexual acts you could possibly commit together with each others bodies and various body parts, as well as toys, and even costumed fantasy role plays and other kinky fetishes and sexual experiments.
Sexual freedom means not only being able to choose your own sexual orientation and sex acts, but having the freedom to choose whatever relationship structure you may want, whether it be being single and celibate, single and polyamorous, monogamous with or without marriage, “monogomish”, in an open, bisexual or swinging marriage, polygamous, polyandrous, polygynous, or undecided. And it means choosing whatever role you wish to play in your relationship with your sexual partner or partners. Whether it be a housewife in a heteronormative marriage with a Dominant male breadwinner. Or a Domintrix with a Harem of submissive and subservient men. Or perhaps a couple with the traditional gender roles reversed, and a female matriarch with a male house husband, but whom both retain their cisexual gender identities and roles in the partnership. Or maybe just a Dominant heteronormative guy who likes to have his wife take over once or twice a week and be the dominant one in the relationship, and maybe even bend him over and use a strap on on him once in a while to feel what she gets to feel. Or perhaps a gay man who identifies more as a woman and plays more of a female role in a partnership with another more masculine male. Or maybe you are a couple who are equals who do not have set roles, and each like to play different roles, including various role play fantasies at different times.
Or you can have distinctly different roles you play with different people. Being a polyamorous person who is romantic with some people but not sexual with them, and sexual with some people but not romantic with them, and others you can be both with. Or being a mostly traditional couple in an monogamish and somewhat open relationship who on select nights goes out swinging and is openly polyamorous or promiscuous with others on those nights but are otherwise committed to each other. Or being an international playboy or sex tourist travelling the world having one night stands with exotic women and never ever settling down. Or being an ethical slut and career woman who also like some men never wishes to settle down. Or being a bisexual male Dominant polygamist with a harem of both male and female submissives and consensual “sex slaves”. Or it could just mean dating around for a while and having sex with a lot of people to see who is best for you before settling down and getting married to the right person. Or you could practice solo sexuality by being celibate and only getting in touch with your sexuality within yourself, as a Taoist Monk, Tantric Yogi, or shaman, and may only be interested in sex for spiritual practice such as Tantra or Sex Magick on select occasions of ceremonies and rituals with other practitioners like you. Or maybe you practice celibacy at times to recalibrate yourself sexually and just don’t want to be sexual for a while for whatever reason, perhaps between periods of sexual activity.
Maybe you enjoy masturbation more than sex at times and using various toys on yourself such as a vibrating bullet in the anus while you handle your genitals. Maybe you enjoy imagining yourself in scenarios you would never actually do in real life while you masturbate because they are too taboo or dangerous or unrealistic, but are exciting to fantasize about while alone. Or maybe you like using interesting kinky pornography or doing racy webcam sessions with strangers online who you never meet but can feel free to experiment with online. Or maybe you practice masturbation as a new agey self love ritual to help you get in touch with yourself and your sexuality more deeply and recharge yourself spiritually when you need to. Perhaps you have dated a lot of opposite gender people and eventually want to take a break from them and get curious about dating the same gender, and give that a try for a while and then maybe eventually go back. Or perhaps you would like to try on a different gender role yourself. You could even be a transsexual who was once a heterosexual male but is now a bisexual female. Or you could even be any number of very interesting BDSM roles and step into different ones in different scenarios, interactions and relationships with different partners, such as being a Dom with one, a Slave with another, a costumed fantasy with another, and even an animal with another. Or you could be part of an Islamic or mormon patriarchal polygamous marriage, or a pagan polygynous group marriage if you wish. Maybe you are an inter-racial couple, or an inter-religious couple. Or maybe one of you is a legally regulated sex worker who’s work and personal life are completely different. You could even be a monk or nun or even a gender neutral asexual who never feels sexual at all and probably never will, that would also be ok, though you should certainly have the reserved right to become sexual at any point in which your sexuality is awakened and your desires change. Or you could just consider yourself a pretty normal traditional guy or girl who wants to just have a boyfriend or girlfriend and doesn’t really want to think about any of these different specifics, or know what to think of them, and don’t think you’ll ever need to, and that would be ok too. The possibilities and combinations are literally infinite and are yours to do with what you want and no one has the right to tell you what is right or wrong for you but yourself.
Sexual freedom means not feeling forced to have to choose to do something sexually due to social pressures, simply because you are of breeding age and your family or society as a whole expects you to pair bond and bear children. Maybe you have family and friends urging you to get married to a nice wo/man but you do not want to and need to feel free to rebel against these social pressure’s. Maybe you do want to get married and have children at some point, but not yet, and shouldn’t feel pressured to do so sooner than you are ready and settle for a less than ideal relationship. Maybe you do want to have children at some point, but not be married, or even pair bonded at all. Or maybe you want to get married but never have children. In any case you need the freedom to choose what is right and not have others take away that choice and tell you what you should be doing with your body and sexuality. Or maybe you don’t even know what you want right now or what you will ever want until the time comes and don’t want to have to decide anything right now. Sexual freedom means being able to not choose if you do not want to and be undecided about what you want until you are conscious of it and ready to make that choice. It means being able to be curious and to try anything you wish without having to commit to continuing to do it if you do not like it just because your partner might, and to be able to stop at any time. It also means being able to choose the times in which you are sexual, and having the right to change your mind at any time and to do different things at different times, rather than to be forced to have sex with someone you do not want to anymore or in ways you do not want to anymore, simply due to previous commitments or engagements with them. In fact it means you can change your choices and make different ones as many times as you want in your life as you yourself continue to grow and change in your personality and lifestyle, and not have to feel like you have to ever keep doing the same thing sexually if it stops being of interest to you. It means having the freedom to never be sexually limited and always able to grow and progress on your journey of self actualization. Be this by developing your sexual identity over time, your orientation, your relationship structure, or your likes and dislikes. You can always continue to get to choose who you are and what you do sexually.
So to sum it up, sexual freedom means that any and all choices at any time of any nature about your own body and sexuality and who gets to touch you and how are entirely up to you. And perhaps more importantly it means the freedom to not get what would in any case be a form of sexual violation or even assault, even if in many of these cases people do not call it that. And also perhaps most commonly, it means not having to find yourself in a situation in which you are doing something you do not want to do because simply because you did not feel freely able to find your voice and communicate properly and say so. It means having the freedom to communicate and express yourself sexually so that you never have to feel violated, but instead can always get what you want. Because the bottom line is that sexual freedom is about consent, and your right to be able to say what you consent to or do not consent to. And not have someone else take that away from you and tell you what those things should be, be it society at large, or even a marriage partner or priest informing you of your “marital duties”. Because no one should tell you who to be or what to do with your body and sexuality besides yourself. That is one of your most basic and inviolable human rights and any time you are being sexual in any way that you do not want and have not chosen for yourself through a conscious decision you are being sexually violated and that is something that no human being deserves. And any time you are being sexually oppressed by social pressures to not be sexual in ways you want to be, and to conform to social standards of what is supposed to be acceptable normative behavior for your gender, you are being sexually limited and frustrated in ways that are very unhealthy.
Sexual freedom means not having the freedom of personal choice and thus your humanity taken away from you. It means not being treated like an inhumane sex object, but as a conscious sentient being who has feelings and thinks for themselves so that they can decide what is right for them and will make them feel the way that they want to feel, and avoid feeling any kind of bad sexual feelings from doing things they do not want to. Because as a conscious human being you deserve to be able to make your own sexual decisions and not be oppressed, manipulated, coerced, or forced by any sort of social pressure’s to do anything you don’t want to do, or perhaps of equal importance, to not do things you do want to do. And you should be able to do all of the things you want to sexually without being shamed by any kind of sex negative language or made to feel bad about yourself from anyone for doing so, for this is sexual harassment and is also a violation of your basic human rights. And anyone who seeks to violate your freedom to choose what you do with your own body and sexuality is taking away your right to make your own conscious choices and your right to consent, and thus taking away your humanity. And thus by taking away your freedom and humanity these people are unhealthy social influences on you that you should not allow to be in your life. As a human being who has the freedom to choose what is right for you you do not deserve to be made to feel ashamed or negatively or hurt, or to tolerate anyone else’s sexism or lack of humanity towards you. This is what sexual freedom means, it is a basic in-alienable human right that, like the right to consent and non-consent, which should never be taken away from anyone, by anyone else, no matter if they are a peer, parent, spouse, priest, or any kind of authority, or even society at large. No one should ever be telling you to do or not do things sexually that go against your will and make you feel adversely, just as you should not be made to have non-consensual sex, which is called rape, and lack of sexual freedom is in many cases not too far from it. And if someone is taking away your sexual freedom in any ways that make you feel violated or adversely, you have every moral right to choose to change that for yourself by any means necessary so that you can realize the freedom that I am speaking of and regain your humanity.
In conclusion, you simply should have the right to not be made to feel badly or violated in any way with your sexuality. Instead you should have the right and freedom to find what makes you feel good sexually and be able to choose that for yourself, and always be able to make yourself feel the way you want to feel by whatever means you choose. In the end it is simply the freedom to choose to do whatever it is that brings you pleasure and avoid anything that may bring you pain, unless of course pain does bring you pleasure, and then you have the freedom to choose any number of sex acts that would cause that as well, such as being bent over and fucked hard while being spanked, or even whipped or paddled. It’s your choice. And you should have the freedom to get all the sexual pleasure you feel you deserve and do whatever makes you feel best with your body and become sexually fulfilled in the ways you wish to. And you should also have the freedom to have just as much sex and as much pleasure and orgasms as you want as well. And when you practice sexual freedom the amount of pleasure and orgasms you can get is limitless. And just imagine how amazing living with that freedom could be…the power of sexual freedom means the power to feel as much pleasure as you could possibly feel, and to become as orgasmic as possible, and have as many orgasms as possible. And that is why sexual freedom is so empowering, because it means limitless pleasure And that is the glory of having the freedom of choice. And when you imagine yourself being in that state of sexual freedom and being able to choose the most pleasure possible…I’m sure you can imagine just how good that will feel to do exactly what is best for you.