True Life Relationships – The 8 Step Process of Letting Go of Resentment and Cultivating an Prosperous Social/Romance Life
In my social work I have encountered many people who are held back in their social lives by ill feelings of resentment due to negative social experiences they have had in the past. This could be general social anxiety or depression or anti-social behaviors due to general bad experiences socially, or it could be in regards to the opposite sex in your romantic relationships due to heartbreak or other hurt you experienced with a past lover.
But whatever the case, many people out there harbor resentment or other negative feelings which turn the cause of these feelings into a self fulfilling prophesy, and prevent them from moving forward and developing a healthy happy social/romance life.
I myself have been through these experiences and have felt this same resentment myself, as I am sure we all have. And I was able to free myself from negative/unhealthy social patterns that it would only perpetuate, and create a process for myself to cultivate the abundant prosperous social life I wanted, which I have been enjoying greatly for some time now. And I will always have a soft spot for people who experience the pain of being hurt by others and have this type of vicious circle occur in their social lives, which is why I have found myself counseling many of them, and was recently asked about my own process for letting go of and overcoming resentment so that I could attain the social prosperity I wanted. So I thought I would write an article where I shared my very formula for this process, so that you too can systematically resolve any ill feelings caused by friends and loved ones and attain the same type of abundant social network and relationships that people like me are able to have.
1.) Clearing Away Negative Emotional Triggers – You must any Remove Hypnotic Anchors and Negative Emotional Triggers which trigger any ill feelings of resentment. This means removing anything from your environment/life that reminds you of the person or people who hurt you, and/or triggers any of the bad feelings you have. This could mean getting rid of pictures of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend, not listening to the music you liked to listen to together or doing some of the activities you liked to do with them for a while. Or this could mean not listening to sad love songs or watching sad movies that bring up those feelings. Whatever the case, there is usually a large set of environmental stimuli in ones life that have anchored in the memories of the experiences with a person, and the feelings associated with them, and serve as what are called hypnotic anchors, and will re-trigger these memories and feelings, and these stimuli must be removed! And in this process one should also remove any adverse social influences one still has in ones life. So any unsupportive asshole friends or family members who are really just psychic vampires that always complain or never have anything good to say to you, or maybe are just not the types of positive influences you want/need in your life…get rid of them!
2.) Cultivating Social Abundance and Prosperity Through Social Networking – Now that you have cleared away negative triggers and influences from your life, you can cultivate and sustain a healthy & abundant social life through lead generation/social networking & thus develop a good social network for your own benefit. Make sure this is done with healthy people and that you guard yourself against unhealthy social/relationship patterns from developing. After having your bad experience with the person(s) you did, and having to let go of them and any other unhealthy relationships you had, you may get a feeling of social scarcity and a desire to take on any new relationships available to you. But don’t! You must find the right people to surround yourself with and form your new social circle! Social Networking is about Lead Generation, which is about filtering through masses of people to find the right prospects! So practice socializing and cold approach with as many people as you can each day so that you can hone in on the right ones to form friendships and other relationships with. And be patient! Do not rush into new friendships or especially romantic relationships because of feelings of scarcity and emotional need. Take some time to focus on yourself (see step three next) and realize that lead generation and cultivating a social network takes time. But the more cold approaches you make every day and conversations you strike up, the faster your new social life will develop. So instead of focusing on forming new relationships right away, focus on meeting as many people as possible, and relationships will form over time.
3.) Psychological Personal Development Practices – Practice Affirmations and Positive Psychology and any other forms of NLP/Self Help for Re-framing your mindset from Negative to Positive. Becoming Internally Validated and drawing your state from within (rather then being externally validated and outcome dependent). Many people who are trying to practice social/business networking, or looking for a romantic partner or partners, will be very outcome dependent and externally validated. If things are not going well for them they feel bad. But this is the same attitude that caused you to be so badly hurt in the first place, and not only that but to have it be more than just a passing experience, but a self perpetuating one where your resentment is sabotaging new relationships! So you do not want to have to be externally validated or outcome dependent! Why? Because other people are just not going to validate you! Its not other peoples job to make you feel good about yourself, or feel the way you want to feel! So do not expect them to! It is your job and only yours to make you feel the way you want to in life! So you must be internally validated. This means having an inherent sense of self worth and trusting in your own value as a person enough so that any kinds of rejection or bad experiences with others do not compromise your sense of value and internal validation. This also means doing what is called “Drawing State From Within”. Which means that you are putting yourself into the state of mind and being that you want to have, regardless of your external stimuli. And the best state to have is one of self amusement.
4.) Realization of Letting Go of the Past – Now that your lifestyle and mindset are healthy and happy, really realize how much things like rejection do not matter or affect you because of the fact that your life is what you want it to be and you can & Will always FEEL the way you WANT! There is no actual mechanism for letting go of the feelings associated with your past expereinces that I am going to tell you to “Do” here. But having done the previous four steps, you will now find yourself able to just stop thinking about them in the same victim mentality, and completely stop caring about them what so ever, and realize that they just do not matter to you anymore. And also you must realize here that you simply cannot give any energy to thinking about the past because it takes you away from thinking about your future. All you have to do in this step is allow this realization take place and for them to stop effecting you by withdrawing your focus from the past and focusing only on the positive aspects of your life instead.
5.) The Mental Process of Letting Go – Allow yourself to both logically and emotionally let go of resentment towards others who hurt you socially such as lovers, logically because of the fact that you have such a happy, healthy mindset and social life, and anyone who does not have your best interest in mind truly doesn’t matter because they are easily replaceable with better people you meet all the time! Once you have rationalized the reasoning behind your letting go in this way or any elucidation of it, your feelings of letting go and moving on emotionally will be substantiated and then all you have to do is really step into those feelings and that entire feel good social attitude. Really allow yourself to feel those positive feelings and step into a whole new feel good socialite persona!
6.) Logistics of Moving On – Lets face it, the more you socialize the more you are apt to experience new rejections and hurt from others. Its just part of being social. So having cultivated your internal validation and built the personality you want in which you draw state from within and are constantly self amused, from now on, anytime you get rejected or hurt, etc. simply laugh about the situation. This could be for a variety of reasons. You could be laughing at the person for the way they acted, or for how stupid they were to have burnt a bridge with you. You could be laughing at yourself for legitimately fucking up and doing something stupid yourself. You could be laughing at the sheer absurdity of the human social condition. Whatever it is, DO NOT TAKE REJECTION OR ANY NEGATIVE SOCIAL BEHAVIOR SERIOUSLY! Anyone who mistreats you is doing so because they are a pitifully under-evolved person. Or again, perhaps you genuinely did something stupid. Either way if you can’t look at those situations and laugh at them, you take yourself way to seriously and will never be able to be a socialite person. You need to just practice that self amusement and laugh when those things happen. Let it be experienced as an inside joke for comic relief emotionally while making the appropriate course corrections logistically. Then simply take note of whatever lesson is there to be learned and how you should do things differently next time to possibly avoid that kind of situation again.
7.) Cultivate Prosperous Romance Life – Cultivate and sustain a healthy and abundant romance Life through dating again. It is very important that you have a large number of options to entertain in dating so that you can choose the best ones, and that you will have the social skills to be able to meet and cultivate relationships the highest value people you can find. This is what the social science that I teach in dating is for. It systematizes the manner in which you practice finding, meeting, attracting, seducing, and dating and managing your relationships with ideal romantic partners. For more information on how to cultivate the dating life you want and get your ideal mates easily and automatically, click this link here now.
8.) Resolve – Notice how your resentment and adverse feelings toward rejection and hurt etc have not only melted away and been replaced only with feelings of prosperity…but that you do not even see rejection as “rejection” anymore…and similarly the things that used to bother you socially you really do not even take notice of anymore. Even when you are going through ups and downs in life notice how you do not experience yourself as being a victim of circumstance, and maintain a constant positive attitude and good state of mind that allows for any passing problems to be temporary and for you to generally maintain your momentum in the direction you want.
And there you have it! Your 8 step process to letting go of resentment and other similar self sabotaging feelings towards others that prevent you from having the healthy happy relationships you want, and not only that but building your social dream life in both friendships and romance! Because the two very much go hand in hand! I know it seems like a long process, and it is! But don’t overwhelm yourself, just know that these things take time, just as the process of healing and growing do, so go at it one step at a time. And if you can stick with it and go through all these steps over time and practice them diligently on a consistent basis, you will find yourself having the success you want to have much more quickly than you may have imagined. So go right ahead and start today!
And now that you are ready to finally move on with your life from your past hurts and start dating again, click here to learn about how you can get your ideal mates easily and automatically, and cultivate the dating life you have always dreamed of starting today!
And as always, let me know if you have any questions or need any help! And good luck!