The Secrets Of How to Get to The Top in Society! Social & Business Networking Explained!
Many people who are lacking in the success they want to have are in this place because of their lack of connections, and having a limited social circle and business network, both in quantity and quality.
It is no secret anymore that success is not about what you do, but who you know. After all, when a big business owner is choosing executives and board members for his or her company, do you think they accept applications for these positions? Or go with people they know?
And if there is a job that you wanted, how much better of a chance do you think you would have at getting this job if you knew the owner of the company than if you didn’t? As a matter of fact in many cases, business owners will pass up individuals with greater qualifications, in order to hire people they already know, simply because they know them and thus trust them more…even if there are people who want the job who are better suited for it. That is just the power of a connection.
And most successful people understand the power of a connection, and value it. They know that anyone they meet could be a leg up into some opportunity they want to have. Even if that person is not a business owner, who else could that person introduce them to? Entrepreneurs and successful people are constantly looking for new connections who they can synergize with. Because that is what business success is all about, synergy. A business or project is really just a bunch of people who have gotten together to pool their resources (time, energy, money, knowledge, skills, etc) together in a synergistic fashion to be able to reach some goal that none of them and their resources could have reached independently.
And how does this all come together? Through NETWORKING!!!
Networking is something that all successful people know well how to do, and have done in order to get to their successful high status position in society. And it is also the thing that separates these successful people (otherwise known as the 1%) from those who have great potential that is going unrealized. Those who do not know how to network, no matter how intelligent, knowledgeable, skilled, or hard working they are, generally do not achieve the greatest levels of success and status that can be had in society. Why? Because they just do not become connected enough to do so. As connections, otherwise known as “social currency”, is the biggest resource that is actually needed in order to do so. And those who know this and have mastered the ability to network, and developed a lot of prominent connections, are the ones who are successful in spite of any other limitations they may have in knowledge and skill.
So what is it that prevents so many average people from getting connected and achieving these high levels of success and social status?
Well, usually when introduced to the concept of social and business networking, most people are intimidated by the prospect of having to “cold approach” complete strangers in person. They experience what is called “social anxiety” about the idea of doing this, which is actually completely natural. And even people who do not have general social anxiety (towards all forms of social interactions), still have anxiety about approaching strangers, or as I like to call it “cold approach anxiety”.
So where does this “cold approach anxiety” come from? Well a number of things. One is evolutionary psychology and the fact that approaching strange people was very dangerous in the recent history, and only in recent times has this become safe to do. For thousands of years, anyone you might see out in the world and not already know, could be a potential threat. So humans have had this special type of anxiety about seeing and meeting new people passed down through our genes and instincts.
Another reason we feel this “approach anxiety” is because of the social conditioning we got from our parents when we were young, who taught us “stranger danger” and to be afraid of talking to new people because of the fact that they might be a pedophile rapist serial killer…especially if they were friendly and had something that we wanted, and would just kidnap us and take us to their dungeon and torture us…or whatever horribly socially maligning things your parents taught you about so called “strangers”.
Another place this comes from is having actual bad experiences with other socially at certain times in your life. However this reason, while being the most realistic and reasonable for having anxiety about approaching strangers, is usually the least. Most people have actually not had that many negative social experiences, and the ones they have had were not extreme, and were certainly not in the quantity or quality great enough to justify these self imposed social limitations where they are preventing themselves from meeting new people who may actually be very positive influences. No, see, everyone experiences this special type of social anxiety…and it is not because they just escaped some rapists dungeon, or that they were nearly bludgeoned to death tribal style by some big scary alpha male warrior who was trying to protect his clans territory. You see, that stuff really just doesn’t happen very much.
What does happen however are fights with friends and family, heartbreak with lovers, etc. These social issues are just a part of having a social life, and as long as you have a healthy social life, you will not be dealing with them enough to justify becoming reclusive. And if you are, then becoming reclusive is still not the answer. Rather the opposite. If you are not socializing with healthy influences who are providing too many negative social experiences for you, the reason for this is because you are not being socially proactive enough. You are not approaching new people and forming new connections, associations and friendships, which is what is keeping you trapped in this limiting and unhealthy social life. The effects of which are not just social, but limiting to your success in all other areas of life as well.
But even understanding the issue of social anxiety and why it is occurring is not enough. Still people have this concern and fear about approaching strangers. But since it is not because we worry that they may bash our head in with a rock for stepping onto their clans hunting grounds, or that they may actually be the reincarnation of jack the ripper…what is the real reason people do not want to approach strangers?
Because it just feels uncomfortable!
Isn’t that all it amounts to? It feels uncomfortable to approach someone you are not being given an introduction to?
And why is that?
Because we worry that they may be “unfriendly”. Right?
In fact, we are presupposing that they will be unfriendly when we are allowing ourselves to feel these feelings of discomfort aren’t we? Because if we were certain that they were going to be friendly…why would we be afraid of what might happen when we approach, and feel this fear and discomfort?
It is in fact the concern that the person we approach may be unfriendly that we fear approaching them. But why?
Why would they actually be unfriendly to you when you approach them?
How often does that actually happen?
What is the real possibility of it happening to you?
Can you even come up with a good answer for this based on your own experience?
Or have you not actually experienced any negative occurrences from approaching strangers…due to the fact that you have not approached many…
OR THE FACT THAT THEY JUST DON’T REALLY HAPPEN THAT OFTEN!!!
Because most people can’t tell you about even so much as a single instance of negative repercussion from approaching a stranger, unless you, like me, have done extensive networking and approached literally thousands of people…and then maybe you will have a few negative reference points here and there.
But I am here to tell you that people being unfriendly to you when you approach them just simply doesn’t happen!
In fact, the only reason it ever does happen, is when the person you have approached is actually NOT a valuable connection!
You see, as I said earlier, those who are successful high status people, and the types of valuable connections you want to be making, know very well the value of a connection, and thus they are generally very polite, friendly, welcoming people who will greet you warmly when you approach them. And their demeanor is usually pleasant because of the fact that they are living the life they want to live, and are happy with themselves and their lives. So they are generally very pleasant people to socialize with.
However unfriendly people are so because of the fact that they are not happy with themselves and their lives, and that is so because they are not successful due to the fact that they do not understand the value of a connection. And thus unfriendly people are very low status and low value people to know, and certainly not the type of person you would want to meet, or care about the opinion or reaction of if you happened to accidentally meet one. But generally speaking you can pre-screen out these people when you are out networking by making sure not to approach people who look unhappy and unfriendly, and approach only those who look like they are happy and having a good time engaging in socialite behaviors. Which is generally easy to spot.
So know that the friendliness concern in your “cold approach” networking practice is actually not a concern at all. Because unfriendly people are of absolutely no value to you. If you do happen to accidentally approach someone who does not greet you in a friendly way, they have just exposed themselves as a low status unsuccessful person, and given you every reason to not care about the fact that they were just unfriendly to you, because of the fact that they do not matter to you.
The only people who do matter, are the warm and friendly socialite types. Because they are the ones who are high status. And they are usually easy to spot, and very easy to get to know. These are the types of people who, if your social skills are good, will pick up your tab and perhaps even invite you into their VIP area (if you have met them at a club), or who will offer you free stuff from their business and even an affiliation. Anything can happen with these types of people. Remember, it is about synergy.
And again, unfriendliness really isn’t as big of an issue as most people think, you usually wont encounter unfriendly people IF you are going about networking and screening the people you approach in the right ways. I have encountered unfriendly people from time to time as I have said. However, I do not feel embarrassed by it, in actuality I find it hilarious. It makes me laugh at them (not out loud of course). Because this person has no idea the types of social and business opportunities they just screwed themselves out of by being unfriendly to me. There was a time I was promoting a friends new nightclub in my city and was instructed by him to get together classy high status people to offer them free VIP service on Thursday nights (which would normally cost $500). So when I was out networking anyone who was unfriendly to me (which again was only a random person here and there) just limited themselves from getting that, and I’d think to myself “What a sucker, he doesn’t want free VIP service? Psh, ok.” And the same goes for my company. Sometimes I am launching a new product and need product testers and reviewers, or I need interns. And anyone who isn’t friendly misses out on that opportunity.
You see Business networking is about offering value before you ask for it. And as long as you have value to offer, not only will you feel better about networking, because you won’t feel like a leech looking to suck their time and resources, but you will feel like a giver. And that is a good feeling. And that makes it easier to deal with “rejection” because of the fact that when you experience it, it makes you realize that they are the ones being limited by it, not you. In fact they are low value and thus would probably be the takers in this relationship, and so it would have been a limiting affiliation for you and you are better off without them.
But as long as you are a giver of value first and foremost rather than a taker, most people will sense that about you and respond warmly, especially those who are keen socialites and can pick up on peoples vibes and tell who is valuable for them to become connected with. Which, of course, as a reader of my blog and person engaged in personal development, you very much are.
Generally the only common negative scenario with networking is that you have to deal with a bit of “awkwardness” at times when approaching, and will need to go through certain social calibrations to fit the situation. That is all awkwardness is, a lack of normal social “calibration”, its something that seems to lack congruence and normalcy, and just needs to be slightly recalibrated in order to get the interaction back on track. That is where social tactfulness comes in, which is essential to your networking practice. You do of course need to know the logistics of how to approach people especially in groups or certain social or business situations, and you need to know exactly what to say and how to say things, and the methodology behind business (or social climbing) oriented conversations.
And that is not to say that you couldn’t catch a high value person off guard and actually create an awkward situation in which they may be perceived as being unfriendly when in actuality they are simply wondering why you are talking to them in such a direct and miscalibrated manner. Or that you could even come off the wrong way and cause them to be unfriendly towards you, as I have before. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. The point is that you do not want to seem like an overly aggressive social climber who is pretentious and arrogant, and just looking to poach social connections any way you can. That would actually cause high value people to become guarded against you and less welcoming. But with the right social tact it will never be an issue.
And this is exactly why I created my Social/Business Networking 101 Master Course in True Life Relationships! So that you can network and social climb your way to success, be it in your social life as a socialite person trying to break into the upper socioeconomic bracket of society and become higher in social status, or an entrepreneur person who is trying to network for business purposes so that you can turn your venture into a big business and perhaps even become a captain of industry!
This Social/Business Networking Master Course will teach you EVERYTHING you need to know about networking, from the sociological theories and social psychology behind it, to the actual logistical methodology, to how to open conversations and have effective conversations and develop relationships, to how to conduct sales and business oriented conversations and “close” deals!
Just click here to check out this epic and amazing course now which will catapult you into the successful social and business lifestyle that you want to have! On sale now so do not miss this great opportunity to have the life that you want to have!