Master Your Dating – Part 1: “The Dating Game,” Lead Generation and Converting Leads into Dates
Welcome to part 1 of the “Master Your Dating” article series, here you are going to learn the truth about dating and all the ins and outs of being in “the dating pool”, how to meet people and get dates!
Part 1 – “The Dating Pool”, Lead Generation,
“The Numbers Game”, and Converting Leads into Dates
The “Numbers Game”
So lead generation is about attempting to make whatever you want to happen with as many people as possible, because it will happen with only a portion of those people. Usually around 10%. So you must be approaching about 10 X the amount of women you actually want. And what will occur is throughout your pickup process most of these women will be filtered out, almost like they are being processed through a great funnel system like in marketing. And in the end you will be left with about a tenth of the women in the closing stage as the women you had opened. But if you have opened more than enough, you will be closing with enough. And some PUA’s have said that playing the numbers is the most important aspect of Pick Up Artistry and that even if your game is not good you will get laid if you are simply trying with enough women. Which is an interesting thing to think about if you are a newbie. All you have to do is put yourself out there enough times and someone will eventually accept you. And of course over the course of doing this you will get better and better. It’s all about practice. And the success rates you will encounter are very akin to batting averages.
So I know you are all very interested in knowing exactly what kinds of results you can expect numbers wise with your lead conversion practices, at least in general. In other words: what kinds of “batting averages” to expect. You want to know the actual amounts of women that you actually have sex with right? And I can give you those numbers, but I am going to be realistic and conservative with them. While I do not want to be discouraging, of course you must understand that you aren’t going to “close” with the majority of the women you pick up. Dating is about Lead Generation and Conversion, and Lead Conversion is about taking a large number of leads and processing them through your conversion system so that you can ideally close a portion. Now while I cannot tell you specifically the results you are going to have because I am not sure how many women you are going to actually approach and open, and how you are going to try to process those leads and convert them…I can tell you what sorts of conversion rates you can expect. These numbers will be somewhat general and may fluctuate due to variables in your lifestyle, logistics, and lead generation methods, etc. However I can certainly lay out the law of averages (or “batting averages”) and the statistics associated with them.
Let’s say that on an average day (or week if you are just getting started with lead gen and find it difficult, or maybe if you have really poor logistics in your lifestyle), and you approach 10 women and make a full effort to transition past the opening and engage in an in depth rapport building discussion geared towards close.
• Approx 3 of those conversations will not transition very far in the conversation for any variety of reasons, be it time constraints or lack of connectability
• Approx 3 of those women will become more involved conversations with some rapport that will not close even if you try
• Approx 2 of those women you will build rapport with and close, but the phone number will either not respond or will respond but die off soon after
• 1 of those women will close and respond and lead to ongoing conversations with further building of rapport but will most likely not convert into a second meeting
• 1 of those women will close, and lead to ongoing conversations and further rapport, and will most likely convert into a second meeting.
Now these are of course averages. So on average you will have about at least a 10% conversion rate. This doesn’t mean that sometimes you won’t have more or less of course. Sometimes 2 out of 10 leads will convert. Sometimes none! It will vary, but this is the basic average. And of course with developing the skill of playing the numbers in lead generation and building your ability to close and convert leads your conversion rate will gradually raise over time with steady practice.
But those are the conversion rates for phone calls and second meetings. Let’s talk about the conversion rates beyond those leads. So when you have 10 women you are actively “talking to” and see for a second meeting or more:
• 3 will not make it past the second meeting
• 3 will not make it past the third or fourth meeting
• 2 you may see ongoing for a few weeks or so and then it will somehow end
• 2 you may see for a couple months and then it will taper off or somehow end
• 1 will become an ongoing relationship of some sort
So notice how there are different phases with different filters that the leads you generate must be converted through, and you will have about a 10% closing rate through each on average when you are consistently practicing the basics of lead generation and thus generating healthy leads, and are going through the motions of practicing lead conversion and your leads are converting as they naturally would by the law of averages. But again, of course things are not always going to be consistent even when your efforts are (which they also won’t always be haha). There will be ups and downs and variations to your conversion rates as naturally as there will be variations to the personality types of the leads you generate and the situations and relationship dynamics etc.
So it really is about “playing the numbers”, and don’t worry too much about women who aren’t converting into dates, or who will schedule a date with you and then flake out, or even stand you up. These things are bound to happen. If you are playing the game, you are going to be getting a lot of flakes. If you are not getting any flakes, you are not getting any dates. Just don’t place too much emphasis on any one girl, keep your mind on the big picture, play the numbers and you will find the ones who you can connect with.
I literally spent almost a year collecting in field data in an approach log in my city, which is a small city of about a million people in its whole entire metropolitan area, including the suburbs and outlying countrysides. So that is not a lot of people, and the atmosphere here is NOT one of abundance, or anonymity that “Pick up artistry” and promiscuity are good for. This is a city where it is easy to become well known, because if you go out a lot, people will recognize you. So a lot game here in its advanced stages turns into social circle game. Luckily this is an easy city to conquer socially in the numbers aspect. But unluckily the social atmosphere and attitudes here are very much closed off and limited. So practicing pickup is very hard. You can’t be too direct here because people are not generally sexually limited in their mindset, and women see sexual openness as being “thirsty”. But you can’t be too indirect either, because women will friend zone you. So it is all about calibration. And over the course of the 9 months I spent collecting field data I approached almost 700 women in person, without third party introduction. What is known as a “Cold approach”. And this is the type of hardcore networking we teach in Pick Up Artistry, the ability to approach large numbers of very valuable women without needing any kind of introduction, and actually have sex with them. And I did get to have sex with a few of these women, but it was very few. Because this is lead generation, and your conversion rate is going to be about 10% down the line. So I analyzed my statistics in the log and found that my conversion rate, while it would fluctuate a little depending on the environments and styles of game I was focusing on, and how proactive I was being, would always be around 10%.
Let’s go over some of my numbers from my approach data log now. In my first month when I was getting started I only approached and opened 68 women. I only had a closing rate of 6%. Very low numbers, because I was just getting started and was feeling pressured by myself as well as unsure of what I was doing. However I did have a 100% follow up rate with these women (meaning that the phone numbers I received were all solid and they texted me back with interest and we began developing relationships). And then once I had gotten the ball rolling, the next month my numbers increased significantly. I approached 25% more women, opening 91 that month. And this is why it is important to keep an approach log, because when you are able to actually see and track your progress, it becomes very easy to improve. That month I had a 45% increase in my closing rate, which rose to 11%, as of these 91 women I got 10 phone numbers. However my conversion to follow up rate dropped 20 percent, as two of the numbers were dead ends, so I only had an 80% conversion/follow up rate. And then on the third month my numbers went up slightly. I opened 98 women and closed 12, with a 12% closing rate, however 3 of these were no response, giving me a 75% conversion rate. So notice how things generally even out one way or another, there are always tradeoffs.
However as you practice you will continue to improve over time. You will be able to advance in the style of game you practice, and make micro calibrations everywhere all along the way. You will be able to advance to new social environments as well and be able to work with logistics much better and can sometimes have spikes in your conversion rates. Sometimes you will even discover “lifestyle hacks” as we call them, such as becoming a musician or night club promoter, which greatly increase your value and attractiveness to women, and make your lifestyle much more logistically conducive to getting them. As I did by becoming a night club promoter. And as I advanced in the game and tracked myself so that I could improve and accelerate, I even reached a 22% and 24% closing rate on two months. The month I began doing nightclub promotions I opened 117 women, and just concentrated on a few nights too. That was the month I had a 24% closing rate. However after that spike my closing rate went back down to 13% and 15% in the months following. And if you would like to hear more data from my approach log stay tune for it to be published.
But the point is not to have too high of expectations for yourself. Do not expect to get every woman you want. It is great to have goals and to work towards them systematically. But you absolutely must remain outcome independent. Do not fear or be hurt by rejection, and do not be affected when you do not end up with women you picked up and really liked but who you never actually “make it happen” with. Just do your due diligence and play the numbers, be methodical in your practice of the game, and things will pan out with a portion of the women you meet one way or another. Around (or at least) 10%, but sometimes more, sometimes you can be in the 20’s! And that’s great, but do not expect it, just practice, put in the time and effort, and be intelligent and systematic about your efforts, and make the necessarily course corrections and calibrations along the way and you will see improvement over time.
But I know you are probably wondering, what about when the leads aren’t easily and naturally converting as much as the ones you have illustrated so far? What about leads that is more difficult to convert? Arent there some hardcore conversion tactics you can use to up your chances with women who are hard to get? Because obviously the cases I have displayed to you so far were somewhat simplistic examples that took minimal effort and only a small fraction of leads will be that easy. But it does show you that when you are playing the numbers, there are a portion of women you will be able to connect with fairly naturally. However I do want to get more in depth into the conversion process for a lead that is not converting easily and naturally. For many women will not meet you halfway in the conversion process. In fact most of them make the man do all the work. And some of them are even downright guarded against love. And so sometimes you do have to invest more time and energy into converting a lead. And this means knowing when it is a good use of your time and energy and when a lead, while seeming to have almost neutral interest in you, is still receptive and viable as a prospect. And of course it means knowing exactly how to treat this lead and go about converting them as they are making it difficult for you. This my friends is where lead conversion becomes a fine art. And that is exactly what I have written these documents to teach you about.
That concludes the first segment of the dating mastery series. To continue on the journey to dating success, simply proceed to the next article by clicking HERE.